I Taught My Kids How to Make Explicit Christmas Ornaments

ALERT: I, in no way, mean to offend anyone with the end result of this post.  This is real life and this is what REALLY happened!

On one of our many afternoon trips to the library, me and the girl headed over to the section where they keep the craft books and grabbed a few.  When we got home, we looked through them all, from cover to cover trying to find something to make with supplies that we already had on hand.  We found instructions for making ornaments out of milkweed pods.  The instructions recommended that you paint the pod and make a little snow scene inside by using a small plastic reindeer.  I decided we would just paint and use glitter.

Milkweed Pod
Source: Mdf

I'm pretty sure I haven't seen any milkweed pods, but they are similar in shape to these pods that fall off the trees around here.  Connor calls them coconuts but they in fact, look nothing like coconuts with the exception that they are brown.

Off we went one afternoon looking to collect some premium specimens; we found quite a lot.

We cleaned them up and decided to do a test run on one.  We took the single pod and painted it gold.

Then we painted the inside with glue and sprinkled it with glitter.  I thought red would be a nice touch!

When it was finished, I held it up and took a good look at it.  Then I realized, I had just taught my children how to make vagina ornaments!

I think tomorrow we are going to look for some fake snow and some little plastic reindeer!


On an unrelated note: read today's HubPages article!